I'm sure its not news to anyone that I'm disorganized, and I have AGAIN lost the battery charger for our camera battery. Luckily, I found one on Amazon for $4.00, so its on its way, but that explains the lack the cuteness quota for the month. I'll make up for it with some videos instead!
Sophie is 6 months old now, and she's SO.MUCH.FUN! This stage of learning and exploring and smiling is so funny. She sits unsupported now, and with the occasional flop over she does really well! Bath time is now a 20 minute playtime, and she loves watching water being dumped out of a cup. It makes her giggle so much; I doubt she will be so easily entertained in the years to come. She will also pass a toy from one hand to the other over....and over....and over...and over....and then look at me with a huge grin.....she's such a cute goober!
She likes to hold her own bottle, but isn't too efficient yet. We're using the sippy cup in the evenings for practice and she loves being Ms. Independent! She also LOVES food; we've moved on to cereal in the morning and food in the evening. So far she's destroyed avocado, green beans, sweet potatoes, and we're getting ready for butternut squash tonight. Again, she likes to help feed herself and hold the spoon, and again she's rather inefficient, but it makes for funny pictures (that I will take next week after my battery is charged!)
So here are a few videos of the bottle holding, and bathtime, and sitting in her new chair (thanks Aunt Cissy! She LOVES it!)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Steps of Faith....
Warning: this post is long. Like, longer than I ever planned to blog. But I've never written about this topic, and I feel like doing it now. And on the interwebz, you can say whatever you want. Its also about how I feed my sweet daughter. Nursing. Breast feeding. If you don't care to read about that, there's still time to bail. Head over the facebook and see how everyone's farms and mafias are doing instead. Or, jump over to foodgawker.com and look at the fantastic food. I visit daily and drool. Still reading? Ok then, here goes!
Ok, so this is less about nursing and more about how God has grown my faith over the past year. Last December (2009), I didn't even DO Christmas. My iPod has over 500 Christmas songs. I usually live for Christmas! We had no tree, no music, no cookies, and no decorations. I wasn't pregnant, AGAIN, and I wanted to just sit in my pit of despair, please. We had 13 negative tests at that point, and I was in a low place.
I know some people may read this and say "What is she complaining about? That's nothing!" and I agree; lots and lots of women have had a harder and more emotionally difficult time with pregnancy. But this was huge for me. And when you're in the low place, all you seem to think about is yourself.
In early January I went to KC with my jewelry girls, and the morning we were leaving I took negative test #14. I left grumpy, but tried to not stay that way. Rally was fabulous, the fellowship was needed, but I still felt abandoned. We came home on a Saturday night, and I felt weird and off, so I took another test. Then I took another one. The next morning I took another one. ALL 3 WERE POSITIVE. You would think I would jump up and down, right? I should have, but I didn't. Instead, I feel deeper into my dark place, haunted by the thought of "OK, so when will I miscarry? When will this be taken from me?"
Someone (or many someones) must have been praying for me, because I slowly began to feel like this was going to be a good thing. Worrying about losing her instead of celebrating the miracle was crazy. I was going to have this baby, she was going to be mine. I also felt she was a "she" from the beginning. Weird, no? I just kept thinking about Matthew 6:27 about how worrying cannot add one hour to your life. I'm not good at memorizing verses. I get the main idea, but the reference is usually lost on me. This one included. I had to google the reference. Just being honest here, folks!
So, jump forward a year. This January I had a 3 month old love bug baby girl. Sophie. I may have mentioned her once or twice in previous posts? She's pretty much perfect. And I love her more than I thought humanly possible. That first second I held her I felt like I KNEW her. We had to wait to get her, and she made those 14 negative tests seem so insignificant.
Are you really still reading this? Dang, you are either a dedicated reader or nosy. Both are acceptable :)
Anywho, my faith is still being stretched and tested every day. I make EXACTLY enough milk to feed my baby at the babysitter the next day. It seems like so little, but she eats 2 4 or 5 ounce bottles during the day. And that is EXACTLY what I can pump. And she's still such a chunky monkey! On the days I've gotten ahead, it seems she has a growth spurt and eats is all. One day I left work with only 2 ounces pumped, freaking out. Then, she had an extra long nap after school, so I decided to pump and what did I get? 8 ounces. That's a lot for me in one session! Like manna from heaven, my God is good.
Formula is great; I'm just cheap and want to keep nursing. In all honesty, there are lots of days I just want to throw in the towel. It would be 100 times easier not to nurse. I want to eat a full 30 minute lunch. I want all of my plan time back. I never want to hear the wa-woosh, wa-woosh of my pump again. But then I think about how much I love our bonding time nursing. And about how it costs nothing. And about how good it is for my love bug.
I no longer have any milk stored in the freezer, and we have a can of formula in the cupboard for when we will need it. But so far, I can provide exactly what my baby needs. It is ONLY exactly what she needs, no more, but its working for now. I even freaked out and met with a lactation specialist, who did give me great ideas and suggestions, but I still can't get a stockpile in the freezer. And that makes me WORRY. Which I'm not SUPPOSED to do. When will I learn?
Sorry if I overshared. Its a problem of mine. Thanks for reading. Blogging is like therapy sometimes!
Ok, so this is less about nursing and more about how God has grown my faith over the past year. Last December (2009), I didn't even DO Christmas. My iPod has over 500 Christmas songs. I usually live for Christmas! We had no tree, no music, no cookies, and no decorations. I wasn't pregnant, AGAIN, and I wanted to just sit in my pit of despair, please. We had 13 negative tests at that point, and I was in a low place.
I know some people may read this and say "What is she complaining about? That's nothing!" and I agree; lots and lots of women have had a harder and more emotionally difficult time with pregnancy. But this was huge for me. And when you're in the low place, all you seem to think about is yourself.
In early January I went to KC with my jewelry girls, and the morning we were leaving I took negative test #14. I left grumpy, but tried to not stay that way. Rally was fabulous, the fellowship was needed, but I still felt abandoned. We came home on a Saturday night, and I felt weird and off, so I took another test. Then I took another one. The next morning I took another one. ALL 3 WERE POSITIVE. You would think I would jump up and down, right? I should have, but I didn't. Instead, I feel deeper into my dark place, haunted by the thought of "OK, so when will I miscarry? When will this be taken from me?"
Someone (or many someones) must have been praying for me, because I slowly began to feel like this was going to be a good thing. Worrying about losing her instead of celebrating the miracle was crazy. I was going to have this baby, she was going to be mine. I also felt she was a "she" from the beginning. Weird, no? I just kept thinking about Matthew 6:27 about how worrying cannot add one hour to your life. I'm not good at memorizing verses. I get the main idea, but the reference is usually lost on me. This one included. I had to google the reference. Just being honest here, folks!
So, jump forward a year. This January I had a 3 month old love bug baby girl. Sophie. I may have mentioned her once or twice in previous posts? She's pretty much perfect. And I love her more than I thought humanly possible. That first second I held her I felt like I KNEW her. We had to wait to get her, and she made those 14 negative tests seem so insignificant.
Are you really still reading this? Dang, you are either a dedicated reader or nosy. Both are acceptable :)
Anywho, my faith is still being stretched and tested every day. I make EXACTLY enough milk to feed my baby at the babysitter the next day. It seems like so little, but she eats 2 4 or 5 ounce bottles during the day. And that is EXACTLY what I can pump. And she's still such a chunky monkey! On the days I've gotten ahead, it seems she has a growth spurt and eats is all. One day I left work with only 2 ounces pumped, freaking out. Then, she had an extra long nap after school, so I decided to pump and what did I get? 8 ounces. That's a lot for me in one session! Like manna from heaven, my God is good.
Formula is great; I'm just cheap and want to keep nursing. In all honesty, there are lots of days I just want to throw in the towel. It would be 100 times easier not to nurse. I want to eat a full 30 minute lunch. I want all of my plan time back. I never want to hear the wa-woosh, wa-woosh of my pump again. But then I think about how much I love our bonding time nursing. And about how it costs nothing. And about how good it is for my love bug.
I no longer have any milk stored in the freezer, and we have a can of formula in the cupboard for when we will need it. But so far, I can provide exactly what my baby needs. It is ONLY exactly what she needs, no more, but its working for now. I even freaked out and met with a lactation specialist, who did give me great ideas and suggestions, but I still can't get a stockpile in the freezer. And that makes me WORRY. Which I'm not SUPPOSED to do. When will I learn?
Sorry if I overshared. Its a problem of mine. Thanks for reading. Blogging is like therapy sometimes!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)